I've got my Project Trust placement. I'm off to Paramakatoi, a scattered mountain village in the Guyanan rainforest with a population of only about 2,000 people. It's one of the remotest Guyana projects available. It's only accessible by either walking for many days, or by a small plane. I'll be teaching in a small secondary school. I don't know exactly what subjects I'll be teaching, but it'll probably be biology, english and chemistry. Happy days

Standing in my garden, looking at the night sky, and I can't help but wonder: if stars are meant to be far away suns, then surely 'Sunset' should be called 'The Rising of the Distant Suns' instead?

Well folks, I now have a new hobby. As of today, I can now list 'writing literal film scripts of bad fanfiction' to my hobbies.

Yup, you heard it. Film scripts. Fan fiction. So far, I have created a script for the wonderful Twilight fanfiction - Twilight: Twilight of Sunfall, and started (with the assistance of my twisted friends [link] a film script for the Worst Fanfiction in the World - My Immortal. We intend to start filming sometime in the summer, though we are currently struggling to find willing friends to cast the film. Icecream may have to be used for bribery. Anyway, I'll keep you updated on this wierder of projects!

Greetings peoples!

So, interesting situation here. Some of you might know, but I'm supposed to be going to Malaysia next year to work for a year. The charity that I'm going with, however, has just given my a phone call. They are suggesting that I go to Guyana instead, and have given me until wednesday afternoon to decide.

After one hour of frantic research, I have discovered the following:
1. I will be a proper, honest-to-god teacher instead of a teaching assistant
2. I will be teaching english, biology and chemistry
3. I will either be in the rainforest or the savannah
4. There are cowboys in the savannah
5. There might not be running water, electricity or internet connection at my placement
6. They speak English there, and some Spanish and Portugese
7. Guyana is just north of Brazil
8. Only 22 volunteers are sent there every year
9. The kids often skip school to hunt, farm or work in the mines
10. 5 out of 100,000 people die from Malaria per year in Guyana. That's about 38 people a year.
11. Communications are awful, and the postal service is even worse
12. It will take two days to get there
13. The charity thinks that I will enjoy the challenge it will provide
14. The place I would be going in Malaysia is nothing like what I was expecting
15. In Guyana, I will be making a serious difference to the local population
16. Common transport is either horses, canoes and your own two feet

What's not to love? But I've been preparing to go to Malaysia for over a year now. So I don't know what to do. But what I do know is that I'm now charged with an electric energy as I try to decide this thing that will effect my life for ever.

But soon I must decide: Malaysia or Guyana?

Greetings earthlings, watchers, fellow deviants and unfortunate visitors

I had a lovely trip to the beach today. You may have already seen the fruits of my work popping up across groups and (obviously) my gallery. My dog enjoyed herself bounding through sea, sand, grass, and the occasional rock. Anyway, I have decided to write a short list of all the animals I have been lucky enough to capture on my camera lense. I will update it whenever I get another nice big batch of animal photos.

Birds:
Blue Tit
Buzzard
Common Gull
Curlew
Chaffinch
Canada Goose
Call Duck
European Robin
Goldfinch
Great Tit
Herring Gull
Jackdaw
Mute Swan
Nuthatch
Purple Sandpiper
Peacock (Male)
Redshank (Breeding)
Ringed Plover
Red Kite
Sanderling
Skylark
Turnstone
Whooper Swan
Yellow Wagtail

Mammals:
Camel
Meerkat
Przewalski's horse
Rabbit (wild)
Roe Deer
Ringed Lemur
Red Ruffed Lemur
Sheep (details unknown)
Tamworth Pig
Wallabee
Zebra

Insects:
Bumble Bee
Honey Bee
Red Admiral Butterfly
Ant (details unknown)
Golden Ringed Dragonfly


That's all for now folks, but when I get a chance, I'll update this and add my best pictures of each creature

Ahoy and avast to my dear Watchers, fellow Deviants and fortunate visitors!

Happy days folks, I went back to work for the first time in what feels like ages. It was lovely to be back. I'm one of those 'wierd' people who really enjoys working. Anyway, here's a sum-up of my adventures:

1. Painted a giant penis on the cafe blackboard (then gave it a new coat of black paint)
2. Got said black paint all over hands
3. Discovered that the paint only washed off with white spirits
4. Found that we had no white spirits
5. Cleared up excessive amounts of dog and bird poo (got partially covered in the latter)
6. Hit in the face with a soggy (full) bin bag
7. Fell into a giant wicker basket
8. Catapulted coffee down my jacket
9. Named one of the sheds 'Lewis'
10. Poked in the eyeball with a giant (turned on) fairylight
11. Temporarily blinded in one eye by said fairylight
12. Scared elderly customers with my monster hat

And this my friends, is why I love working!

Adios amigos!
~Tem xx

I would like to apologise to you, my Watchers, for submitting so much writing (and slightly poor poetry) over the past few months. I know that many of you have Watched me for my photography, and I have not even submitted any yet this year.

Recently in Scotland, the weather has been grim. Not catastrophically blow-your-house-down-with-tremendous-winds-of-awesome-power or blizzards-so-terrible-that-you-have-to-live-off-the-berries-and-lobster-you-have-in-the-freezer kind of grim, just ... dull. The skies have been grey and forboding; it's been cold enough to be uncomfortable in a t-shirt but not cold enough to freeze anything; the ground is thick and heavy with mud; and all colours have faded away. The world is just plain dull at the moment. There is no colour. Everything appears lifeless, as if someone has taken a picture then drained it of colour, but not enough to make it black and white. And to add to it all, I've been returning home at my normal time, but that time has been dark, and so there are no opportunities to take out my camera.

Perhaps this is a poor excuse for my lack of photographic activity, but it's all I have, and is as true as the fact that spring will soon be here. And then? Then there is no stopping me.

Apolegetically,
~Tem

I would like to apologise to you, my Watchers, for submitting so much writing (and slightly poor poetry) over the past few months. I know that many of you have Watched me for my photography, and I have not even submitted any yet this year.

Recently in Scotland, the weather has been grim. Not catastrophically blow-your-house-down-with-tremendous-winds-of-awesome-power or blizzards-so-terrible-that-you-have-to-live-off-the-berries-and-lobster-you-have-in-the-freezer kind of grim, just ... dull. The skies have been grey and forboding; it's been cold enough to be uncomfortable in a t-shirt but not cold enough to freeze anything; the ground is thick and heavy with mud; and all colours have faded away. The world is just plain dull at the moment. There is no colour. Everything appears lifeless, as if someone has taken a picture then drained it of colour, but not enough to make it black and white. And to add to it all, I've been returning home at my normal time, but that time has been dark, and so there are no opportunities to take out my camera.

Perhaps this is a poor excuse for my lack of photographic activity, but it's all I have, and is as true as the fact that spring will soon be here. And then? Then there is no stopping me.

Apolegetically,
~Tem

Greetings earthlings, Watchers, fellow Deviants and fortunate Visitors!

Here, for you all to admire and enjoy (or whatever else you do on other peoples journals) is a little bit of shameless advertising.

Some of you may be aware, but I have recently created a Facebook page for my ongoing series, The Marvellous Adventures of Sebastian Scarlett. This exciting tale is set in a multi-layered, 'steam-punk' inspired fantasy world, and tells the thrilling story of Sebastian Scarlett; air raider, thief, lover, fighter and rebel. Check it out here: [link] If anyone would be so generous as to give the page a like, I would be 'eternally grateful'

So what else have I been up to? Well, I've created a WattPad account. Quite frankly, I'm not a fan of the literature section on DeviantART ... it isn't particularly pleasant to read ... mainly because of the small text and the layout. So I've decided to create this account to advertise my writing a bit more. If you are also on WattPad, or would like to read my stories on a more literature-friendly website, check me out here: [link] I'm steadily uploading my stories and whatnot. So far, I've uploaded all 'The Marvellous Adventures of Sebastian Scarlett' released to date, as well as the full story of 'Godfather Death'. I'm also intending to upload 'Pillars, and other short stories' and a collection of my best poems under some imaginative and snazzy name.

Your support is, as always, welcome and appreciated. Have a happy Valentines Day folks, and keep well and safe until I next speak to you!

Adios amigos,
~Tem

Greetings earthlings, watchers, fellow Deviants and fortunate visitors

I'm quite enjoying featuring the work of other artists, so here are some of my favourites from the past while ...

:thumb322461044:

I would also like to add that my next 'Watcher' will recieve a Feature ...

That's all for now folks, so adios amigos,
~Tem

p.s: I might just have another chapter of Sebastian Scarlett for you soon ...

As a way of saying 'thank you' to whatevercathiewants for giving me my 150th llama badge, here is a feature of some of her wonderful work ...

:thumb331587129:

Peace out.

Greetings earthling, watchers, fortunate visitors and fellow Deviants!

The first weekend of our Vintage Cabaret Tour has now been and gone. I had a great time, as usual, although my Cabin Boy costume was a little bit chilly in this winter weather. Still, I was kept busy, as I somehow seem to have ended up being in pretty much every act ... Amazonian Archery, Whip Cracking/Fire Eating, the Can-Can (dancing with Maurice the Mop for the audiences entertainment), the Magic act, the Strongman act, High Tea (show dog act), Russia (show dog act), and the bullet catch. Not to mention that I have one hell of a lot of comic dialogue with the ship's Captain ... Barees Roothlessguyovitch ... and moving props backstage, and my own stand-up comedy act ... phew!!! This time (thankfully) I managed to get a microphone for my comedy. I have a pretty quiet voice and there was no way that I could project it through the whole theatre without one. Still, apparently shouting 'Testes, testes, one, two, three!' is not really the appropriate way to do a soundcheck ...

There's been quite a bit of snow again too ... particularly over my house it seems. Everwhere else has a few inches, but as soon as you get onto the estate, you're on about a foot and a half. I can't quite decide wether or not I like the snow. I feel a sort of childish excitement at seeing snow fall ... and find myself entranced by it's stunning beauty. Plus there's the everpresent hope that I won't have to go into school. But the adult in me dreads the snow and all the chaos and destruction that it causes. And whenever the snow falls, there's always a massive divide between the north (Scotland and northern England) and the South. Mainly because they're all ridiculously wimpy about the whole proceedings, and get all the news coverage, whereas we get locked in our homes with twice as much snow as they have and barely moan about the whole thing. They talk about 'the first victims of this cold snap' ignoring the fact that many people in the North have been killed or crippled already. It makes me sick. And I find myself irritated, because it just draws Scotland away from England anc closer to Independance. Not good.

And, to make things more entertaining, 'The emergency bunker at Council Headquarters is up and running.' What the hell?! They have an emergancy bunker? Are they expecting the Zombie Apocalypse or something? How about a Mass Nuclear Disaster? Or are we declaring war on Germany again? Although saying all that ... some areas of Southern England are on a 'Red Weather Warning' which means there is a danger of death ... danger of death my arse ... just because they don't know how to survive in these 'extraordinary weather conditions'. Get a grip. This is Britain.

So adios my dears!
~Tem

p.s: I am currently writing a nice new piece for you ... it's a creative/philisophical short story. Should be up this afternoon!

Greetings earthlings, fortunate visitors and fellow Deviants!

I'm off on another eco-adventure tomorrow ... this time its in a beautiful old house called Kilquanity (pr. Kill-whan-ity) near Dumfries, South West Scotland. It should be pretty fun, and I'm very excited! This will be the third Ecoweek that I've volunteered at this year as I did two consecutive weeks in the summer ... it pretty much killed me, but this one is short, sweet and nearer to home.

I've still got a few hourse to whittle away on trains and in stations though. Not that I mind. I like trains. And the people-watching is fabulous. I especially love Manchester trainstation. Tomorrow, however, I'll be driving (well, I say driving, getting a lift from 'Dad the Taxi') to a charming (please ignore any sarcasm) little town called Berwick-Upon-Tweed. Berwick, I find, is neither Scottish nor English. Its been owned by both, but has picked up the positive characteristic of neither. The English can keep it as far as I'm concerned. It does, however, have a train station, small and insignificant though it may be. So I'll be catching the train from Berwick down to Newcastle, where I have a nice long wait for an hour or so. Hopefully there'll be a Starbucks or another overly expensive coffee shack for me to sit and draw in. Then I've got to find the other volunteer that I will be travelling with, and find the kid that I'm escorting. Then we pile onto the train and make awkward conversation for a handful of hours until we reach Carlisle. Then I fall off the train, find the other kid that has been misfortunate enough to be placed under my care, find the 'Southern Group' (that is, all the kids and volunteers travelling from the rest of England), and pile back onto the same train that I've just left. Then its off to Dumfries. Somehow, we'll all end up at Kilquanity.

And it's there that we will be staying until the 2nd January. I'll be able to catch up with some of my old Ecoweek friends, although unfortunately my ludicrously camp friend is too busy working in his London pantomime, and 'the Captain' cant get up there. Still, it will be a great time I suspect, and no doubt I will be completely knackered afterwards!

Anyway, that is a rather long explanation as to why I will not be able to wish you all 'Happy New Year' on New Year. So here it is: Happy New Year! There. I said it. A couple of days early, but who cares. Don't get too drunk everyone! I know I wont be ... that's the main problem with spending New Year at a childrens holiday camp. No alcohol. But oh well, I can always catch up later.

So have a good one everyone! And don't make yourself too many impossible resolutions. See you all in 2013!

Hello friends, watchers, earthlings and fellow deviants!

Been a proper wee busy-body lately, so I thought I'd spare a little bit of time to update you all!

The Marvellous Adventures of Sebastian Scarlett
Parts One and Two were released last weekend, and you all seemed to have enjoyed them! Sebastian should come back to astound you all sometime this week, depending on the homework situation. Actually, saying that, regardless of the homework situation ... I know what I'm like! For those of you not lucky enough to have read it so far, your fortunes have now been reversed, just click on the thumbnail below to start your journey with Sebastian!
1. The Marvellous Adventures of Sebastian Scarlett
"I truly believe that the adventures in our lives are only as marvellous as we make them."
~ Captain Alexandros Scarlett in his journal.

Sebastian Scarlett lay on the ground, his face pressed into the musty, coarse earth of the notorious Taric Plains. His left arm was slowly going numb, and he regretted placing it under his heavy, alert body. Gritting his teeth, he hoped that the attack would start before he lost use of his arm completely. Not far away from him, he could see the leather boot of one of the crew members. Sebastian could not remember his name, but prayed that whoever it was could fight well enough to not let him down when they

Other Art
Been out taking some pretty snowy pictures today, although by the time I got up, it was too dark for anything really spectacular.
I've started writing a short story about an assassin/ninja student, which is gory, and proving to be good fun to write. So look forwards to me releasing it for you all to devour soon!

Miss May I
So, the reason for me not writing the third part? Miss May I and their At Heart UK Tour. For those of you that don't know, its an awesome, crazy, friendly, slightly hairy metal band from the USA. Myself and a friend journeyed across to Glasgow on Saturday to stay with another friend and her boyfriend in her flat. This time, we remembered sleeping bags, so we didn't have to sleep on the floor under a sheet like last time! Then off we went to the Classic Grand to see Miss May I, supported by Texas In July, Heart In Hand and Bleed From Within. Lets just say it was pretty awesome, despite getting crushed, trampled and kicked in the face by a crowd surfer. Plus there was a dude that looked exactly like Abraham Lincoln (facial hair and all) leaning against the bar ... Anyway, we got back home, after a detour to Edinburgh, pretty late last night, hence a lovely lie in until 11.30 this morning! My ears are still ringing, and I really want to get back in the mosh pit!!!

School and other nonsense
Just spent waaaay to much money on some leather for my art project. I'm making a dragon/medieval inspired leather arm brace, but I've had to buy my materials online. Unfortunately, they arn't going to arrive for a few days, and my deadline is thursday this week. There is no way that I'm going to get this made in time. Looks like my work might just be a little but late! And talking of late work, its pretty late, and I'm doing my History. Got a few more pages to write, then off to bed. It was supposed to be in on Friday. So much for that. And I'm supposed to have the first chapter of my Dissertation in tomorrow too, which I have barely started! Curse you Advanced Higher History! Mind you, it's been pretty snowy here in Scotland lately, so with any luck, we might get a day or two off for fun, photography and ignoring the 'snow homework' page on the school website. Work on a day off my arse!!!

Features!!!
Some awesome artwork ... WARNING: Possible excesses of Tree.



So now I'm going to go back to my dreary history homework, typing endlessly in my patched fingerless gloves, hood up, layers on, smoothie by my side, watching the snow outside turn crimson in the setting sun.

Adios amigos!

So the development work for 'The Marvellous Adventures of Sebastian Scarlett' is pretty much finished. It's all planned out, the characters are created, and the first part has been written. In a few days time, I will submit the first part. (Click on the thumbnail for the bibliography!)

I've been working really rather hard on this, and am very excited about presenting it to you, so I hope you all like it!

Prepare for the twists and turns of Sebastian Scarlett's exciting world, because it is COMING SOON!

UPDATE: Part One is now released! [link]

Greetings friends, earthlings, fellow deviants and fortunate visitors

Had an interesting day today ... it started out pretty snazzy and all that, but things have a habit of changing, don't they?

My friends and I had the misfortune of having double 'travel & tourism' today. To put it bluntly, the subject is a horrendous, tedious, repetitive waste of time taught by an ignorant, uninspiring teacher. This lesson, we were required to make a poster, advertising taking the train into the town that we live in ... a town which is about 60 miles from the nearest train station. Therefore, the task was completely and utterly pointless.

So, we decided to make our poster unique. It features the cartoon me standing on train tracks, brandishing a red model train, a delighted expression on my face, with a large train coming towards me. The background was bright blue and lime green stripes coming from the centre of the train (which suggested great speed). The top of the poster bore the slogan 'Getting you to your final destination'. Underneath the picture read '[insert town name here], Pen Island Rail Network, Trains to die for'.

Our lovely teacher quickly made it obvious that she did not think that was appropriate as she kicked up quite a fuss, displaying our poster to the entire class and attempting to shame us with her ranting, part of which included her telling us how this was 'not a democracy, but a dictatorship'. Well thats interesting ... nothing quite like preparing us for the outside world, is there? She told us that it did not sell [insert town name here] to outsiders, as it was about death. We argued that all there was in this town was death so it was fairly accurate. It didnt go down too well ...

Anway, our dictator commanded us to create a new poster, which we made in about 10 minutes and was not nearly as good (though it did feature a train conductor giving brightly coloured balloons to a small child).

What annoyed us though, was that she repeatedly complimented everyone else for their fantastic work, when theirs looked like it had been finger painted by a two year old. At least we had put effort and creativity into ours.

Seeing as though she didnt like it, we decided to take it away with us, which seemed to displease her further. She hunted us down, found us skuling in the geography base, and demanded we handed the poster back, saying that "we wern't going to be allowed to show off to our little friends". I had to resist the temptation to point out that all my friends are taller than me. She decided that I am a bad influence and that my friends worked perfectly fine before I joined the class.

She also called us "disrespectful". Personally, I found that it was her, not us that was disrespectful, as she did not appreciate our work, and attempted to shame us in front of the entire class.

War has been declared.

Level 1
() Smoked A Cigarette-
() Smoked A Cigar-
() Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 0

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love-
() Dumped someone-
() Been Fired-
(/) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 1.5

Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
() Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die-
SO FAR: 4.5

Level 4
() Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your dA Friends-
(x) Been To Paris
() Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 6.5

Level 5
() Eaten Sushi-
(x) Been Snowboarding-
(x) Met Someone In Person
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 9.5

Level 6
() Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 13.5

Level 7
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding (not sure what it is, but I presume so!)
(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR:18.5

Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work/School
SO FAR: 23.5

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
() Felt An Earthquake
() Killed A Snake (lolwut?)
SO FAR: 24.5

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
() Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 27.5

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
() Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
() Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 29.5

Level 13
() Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR : 31.5

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 35.5

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(/) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World (will soon)
(x) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 39

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
() Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 43

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
() Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 46

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere
SO FAR: 50

Level 19
() Crashed A Party
() Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
() Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 52

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
(x)Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
() Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 55

Level 21
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cubes
(x) Kicked A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes-
(x) Sat On A Roof Top and watched the stars
SO FAR: 59

Level 22
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs-
(x) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about
SO FAR: 63

Level 23
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree (how is that crazy?)
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House
() Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 66

Level 24
() Believe In Ghosts
() Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes (Hahaha … no.)
() Gone Streaking
() Visited Jail
SO FAR: 66

Level 25
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
() Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
() Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 69

Level 26
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one (asked … twas a joke)
(x) Caught A Butterfly
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 74

Level 27
(x) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(x) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name (all the goddamn time!)
() French Braided Someones Hair
() Gone Skinny Dipping
(/) Been Kicked Out Of Your House (Not yet )
SO FAR: 78.5

Level 28
() Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 82.5

Level 29
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 87.5

Level 30
(/) Been shot at/or at gunpoint (joke gun, nearly shat myself though!)
() Had sex in the rain
(x) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 91 (GET IN!)

0-10:Go Outside
11-20:Get a Life
21-30: Loser
31-40: Loner
41-50: You have friends?!
51-60: Your kinda sort of cool.
61-70: I'll hang with you
71-80: Mr. Cool
81-90: Dude, you're sweet!
91-100: Freakin awesome!
101-110: Whoa!
111-119: Holy crap, you belong in a hospital!
120: Corpse

Greetings friends, watchers, earthings and fellow deviants!

I've been busy (as usual) since I last wrote to you all, especially on the creative front.

Comic Strips
After finding myself at lost for what to give a friend for her 16th birthday (other than the packet of 12 non-latex condoms I bought for her!) I decided to create a comic book, filled with amusing moments that we have been fortunate enough to witness. It featured quite a few characters; Mortal (her), Slug (me), Slugs Mum (fairly self explanitory that one ...), a ginger dude, the gentleman in the other car (who had the misfortune of parking next to us when we were in a stupid mood), our friends 'Shakepeare' and 'Floosy', and the accidental bus driver: Pete the Penis. Anyway ... I think she enjoyed it, and forgave me for buying her the condoms.

I quite enjoyed drawing the comics though, and have already posted one called 'Slug Meets Jimmy Savile' Expect more comical wonders from Slug and friends to be coming into your Watch box in the future!

The Bible ...
So, what else have I been up to? Well ... I have decided to write a new version of the Bible, named 'The Holi Bible', inspired by George, from RANALDandGEORGE. So far, I have completed The Third Circle of Petak, called Grudnjak (yes, that does mean 'bra' in Croatian, and am moving onto The Fourth Circle of Petak, called Hobotnica (Octopus). It is a thrilling, poingant book that highlights the Holiness of crumpets, the joys of potatoes, turtles filled with fruit, the infernal names, black skinny jeans, the importance of trains, squeaking biscuits, and the sacredity (is that even a word? It is now!) of lollipops.
Is it blasphemy? Yes.
Was it insanely fun to write? Definately

Unfortunately George and I's Travel and Tourism teacher, a delightful woman *cough cough* has insisted on keeping my copy of The Holi Bible to read over the weekend ... I wonder what she will make of it? I should probably credit her somewhere actually ... we only wrote it because we had to do a presentation to the class, and George told her that it was against her religion. The teachers replied by telling us that if we presented our Holy book to her, then she would let us not do our presentations, therefore I wrote The Holi Bible, complete with a verse stating 'Thou shalt not speak in public.' (Old Testement, Third Circle of Petak, called Grudnjak, Chapter 3, Verse 8). Lets see how well this goes down ... probably like a brick in a duckpond.

Photos
I haven't been taking very many photographs lately, and so I would like to apologise to those who watch me for them. I will be uploading some in due course. The weather lately has been pretty grim, and everything seems to be either brown or grey ... not very fun for photography. Still, it is no excuse, and I did manage to get some nice pictures the other day at my mums work, and one or two decent pictures this morning (the sun was actually shining!).

Kerrang!
Until a couple of weeks ago, I had never been to a music gig before (apart from going to see my cousins rubbish band play once ... would have been good, but the only people that I knew there was my mum and my grandad ). Anyway, I went to see Of Mice & Men, supported by Memphis May Fire and Secrets in Glasgow recently.  It was pretty epic, and I really rather enjoyed myself, despite the 'wall of death', crazy ass dudes dancing in the middle, getting hit in the face with a glass of beer, and the general insanity of the evening! So, last night, I bought my ticket for the Kerrang! Tour for when it comes to Glasgow next year. I can't bloody wait ... there's some pretty awesome bands there: Fearless Vampire Killers, Black Veil Brides, Tonight Alive, Chiodos, and the DJ, William Control. Therefore, I would conclude that it's going to be freaking awesome! I'm considering going to see Miss May I in December too.

Therefore, I would conclude [insert typical essay ending here]. AWESOME!!!

Quick fundraising update for all you lovely people: approx £2,500/£5,400


Adios amigos, have a fabulous November!

[] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an mp3 player/ipod/Discman.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[1/2] You love your family
[] There is a pool/spa in your backyard. (Haha, are you kidding me? I live in Scotland! If you want your tits frozen off ...)
T 0 T A L:  4.5

[1/2] You dress the way you want to.
[] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[ ] You have never been beaten up  
[1/2] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you
[x] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to the movies.
T 0 T A L: 5

[] You have over 500 friends on Facebook (I'd say ticking that box is a fail but hey ...)
[x] You have pictures on Facebook.
[x] Your parents let you have a Facebook.
[] You get allowance/loan.
[] You collect something normal. (Skulls?!)
[] You look forward to going to college.
[] You don't wish you were someone else.
[1/2] You play a sport. (It isn't play ... archery ...)
[] If you want to be a delivery nurse when you grow up (dafuq?)
T 0 T A L: 2.5

[] You own a car/truck.
[] You usually don't fight with your parent(s).
[] You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life.
[x] You have friends.
[] You've never had detention.
T O T A L: 1

[ x] You know what is going on in the world.
[1/2] You are happy with your life
[] You usually aren't sick.
[] You know more than one language.
[] You have a screen name. (a what?)
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You don't have any enemies (Don't think so anyway ...)
T O T A L:  9


TOTAL: 22
Multiply by 3
66%

101%+: A+
90-100%: A
80-89%: B
70-79%: C
60-69%: D
00-59%: F

repost saying "I got a (your score) in life"

Haha, well that went well! Mind you, I would argue that this is a pretty shallow interpretation of one's ability to live properly ...

Greetings Deviants, Earthlings and fortunate visitors!

I've been a bit of a busy bunny lately ... especialy on the fundraising front!

I was invited to a dinner party with the Kings Own Scottish Borderers Malaya Veterans the other week, and these old soldiers dug deep into their pockets to donate me a grand total of £568. I was delighted with this, and was overwhelmed by their generosity. Whilst there, I was introduced to one of the guests, a news reporter. He interviewed me towards the end of the evening, and by the end of the next week, I was both in the newspaper and on the radio! I didn't hear it, but hey ho! Only three days after this glamarous (slightly wrinkly) 'do', I was perched on a stool in front of a fair few pupils form my school getting my hair shaved off. It's been a bit odd, random people that I don't even know have been coming up to me and stroking my head in the corridors! In total I raised about another £500 from this.


This year at school, I had taken four subjects: Higher Art, Higher Philosophy, Advanced Higher Geography, and Advanced Higher History. Unfortunately, my Philosophy teacher has been ill lately, and no-one knows when she will return. As it happens, she is the only available Philosophy in Western Europe. Yes, you heard it right, the whole of Western fecking Europe. So they have chopped the course form the curriculum. Just like that, my favourite subject no longer exists, and I have had to find a new subject. My mathematic, scientific, musical and language skills are limited. The nonsense like Bussiness Management and Administration don't interest me. I can't take another Advanced Higher because I would then be forced to drop Art. And I have taken every other subject that I find interesting/relevant. So what's left? Intermediate 2 Travel and fecking Tourism. Great. I did this kind of work when I was 12. I'm not trying to boast, but I'm not stupid, and this class, I can tell, it going to make me somewhat irritable!

Ah well, life goes on right? Plus I am going to the stunt team that I work with on Saturday to show them material I have been coming up with for a stand up comedy routine. If they like it, I will be performing in their Vintage Cabaret over this Autumn/Winter. Major finger crossing going on here!

Ending on a bitter, yet still mildly amusing note, my earphones were confiscated by one of the scary-ass teachers today. I wasn't being innapropriate, I wasn't being disruptive, rude or obnoxious, I was just listening to my music on the way from class to my Art study period. And what does she do? Goes and fecking confiscates it. Just after my first (and only) class of the day. This meant that I had another 5 periods, 1 break and 1 lunchtime to cope with, by myself for the majority of the time, with no fecking music! Now I'm sorry, but no-one, I repeat, NO-ONE takes away an emo's music for a whole day. Especialy not this one ... I always listen to my music. Shall we leave it here and say that this teacher is not my favourite at the moment?

Adios Amigos,
Have a great week!
~Temujinsword

p.s: I found chocolate buttons